


there's always a purpose

by DontTouchTheSun



Series: brodinsons [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Frigga's A+ Parenting, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki (Marvel)'s Lips Sewn Shut, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Suicide Attempt, second two are canonical from end of thor 1, shes not as bad as odin but theres problems here, thats at the beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-31 15:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21448684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontTouchTheSun/pseuds/DontTouchTheSun
Summary: A brief look into “There’s always a purpose to everything your father does" and Loki's relationship with Odin.
Relationships: Frigga | Freyja & Loki (Marvel), Loki & Odin (Marvel), Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Series: brodinsons [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1356970
Comments: 10
Kudos: 93





	there's always a purpose

**Author's Note:**

> I go back and forth on just how bad a parent Odin is but Frigga saying Odin always has a purpose, coupled with Loki saying that in the Vaults, always sets off my hackles. To me it could be read as abuse apologism. I very much doubt hearing that growing up helped Loki at all.
> 
> Note that I don't usually think Frigga is a terrible parent (and in fact love her), but in this fic she's too willing to defend Odin.
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated!

_“There’s always a purpose to everything your father does.”_

The first time Frigga says it is after the incident with the dwarves. Loki’s face still aches, barely able to talk for the pain in his lips. Odin had allowed for Frigga to take out the thread, but there would be no pain relief for the younger Odinson. Loki doesn’t understand why Odin would allow him to remain in pain and though Frigga holds him tightly and tries to comfort him those words still pass her lips.

A purpose. Loki can’t find any purpose in leaving him in pain for a stupid, failed bet made by a child. Was it part of having to act a king while being a father, that he couldn’t show favoritism by getting Loki out of the bet? Or was Odin simply disappointed in him, for placing the bet, for losing, for showing weakness when the dwarves approached with the thread.

\---

Loki hears those words many times over the centuries since the incident with the dwarves.

Every time Odin yells at Loki for his mistakes, for not being a good Asgardian, for being sneaky and tricky, his mother is there with gentle touches and kind words and always, always defending Odin. Loki never argues with her about it, though the question is always in his mouth waiting to be voiced. What purpose could he possibly have for this? If there’s a purpose, why does Odin not simply explain it so Loki can be better?

Perhaps the words are meant to be comforting, or perhaps they’re just to keep their family together, or to justify to herself and to Loki Odin’s actions, or perhaps there even is a reason beyond simply hating Loki, but over the centuries Loki comes to detest those words. 

Yet even as he detests them, they slowly cement themselves as truth. Odin has a purpose for everything he does, he’s the All-Father and he knows all and there’s some purpose that tiny, insignificant Loki isn’t privy to that explains all of this.

\---

_Laufey’s son._

_I only wished to protect you._

And suddenly so much makes sense. Of course Odin had never loved him. Of course Odin had always been distant and cold and harsh. He wasn’t Odin’s son, he was a stolen relic and a political pawn. He was a monster wearing Aesir skin.

He’s yelling but he doesn’t hear what he’s saying nor does he notice Odin dropping to the stairs. His eyes and ears work but everything is blinded with anger, at Odin, at Laufey, at himself.

_There’s always a purpose for everything your father does._

It all makes sense now and Loki wishes it didn’t.

\--

It is only dangling from the broken Bifrost, fingers wrapped around Gungir, with Thor and Odin looking down on him that he realizes.

_I could’ve done it, Father! For you! For us!  
No, Loki._

He was taken with a purpose. He was meant to unite Asgard and Johtunheim or, failing that, simply drift into the background, the obedient second prince of Asgard. He’d failed in both. He could never rule Johtunheim and unite the realms and now he had shown Odin he could never be anything but a monster.

Loki doesn’t look at Thor. His eyes are only on Odin, lips thinning and he can feel the sting of tears in his eyes as he loosens his fingers. Thor’s mouth is moving, eyes widening. And Loki still doesn’t look at him.

For the first time in his entire life, his thoughts are silent. He knows what must be done and he feels almost numb as he mechanically opens his hand and lets go the spear. And Thor is screaming but Loki is able to watch Odin’s face as he falls. Odin doesn’t even blink, merely meeting Loki’s stare.

_There’s always a purpose to everything your father does._

And Loki has outlived his. He has no purpose in Asgard, to Odin. He closes his eyes and lets the Void swallow him.


End file.
